Author: Adam SilveraPublished: January 17, 2017
Publisher: Soho Teen
Genre: YA, GLBT, Contemporary
When Griffin’s first love and ex-boyfriend, Theo, dies in a drowning accident, his universe implodes. Even though Theo had moved to California for college and started seeing Jackson, Griffin never doubted Theo would come back to him when the time was right. But now, the future he’s been imagining for himself has gone far off course.
To make things worse, the only person who truly understands his heartache is Jackson. But no matter how much they open up to each other, Griffin’s downward spiral continues. He’s losing himself in his obsessive compulsions and destructive choices, and the secrets he’s been keeping are tearing him apart.
If Griffin is ever to rebuild his future, he must first confront his history, every last heartbreaking piece in the puzzle of his life.
"Our situation is like some rigged card game, and the hand the universe laid out for us is made entirely of jesters; we're some cosmic joke. But maybe we don't have to fold so easily. Maybe we can keep playing the game and make kings of ourselves, in spite of it all."
This is my first Adam Silvera novel and it blew me away. History Is All You Left Me is a heartbreaking novel about grief, OCD, and coming to terms with the past. The writing is A+. Silvera has a distinct and poignant style that is incredibly addicting. I enjoyed the elegance of the style while appreciating Griffin's voice. He actually sounds like a real teenager, which is very different from what many middle-aged YA writers think teens sound like.
The story centers around Griffin, his ex-boyfriend, Theo, and Theo's current boyfriend, Jackson. The only problem is, Theo's dead, and Griffin is still very much in love with him. This becomes even more complicated because Jackson comes around for the funeral and Griffin can't help the jealousy that arises. Griffin is also dealing with OCD that becomes increasingly overwhelming as the story unfolds. As Griffin tries to put together a life that doesn't involve Theo, he finds himself unwilling to let go.
I loved loved loved Griffin.
At the beginning of the story, he is depressed and broken. His life is shattered and though everyone tries to help and understand him, he doesn't feel like they truly get it. To top it off, he has to help his dead ex-boyfriend's boyfriend deal with his grief. To get through this, Griffin addresses Theo's spirit during the Today sections as though he were truly alive. It was painful read the sections where Griffin started to doubt if Theo was really watching him because you could sense his panic at being left alone. Although Griffin was jealous, selfish, and sometimes hurtful, I felt he wanted to be a good person.
Theo was cute too. I liked reading the History sections about his romance with Griffin, but it also made the book 30,000 times sadder. I could see why Griffin and Jackson were so in love with him because he had a way of making everyone around him feel important. Silvera manages to make him a complex character despite already being dead.
I think I was a little cold towards Jackson at the beginning. I found myself on Team Griffin and just wanted him to go away, but I quickly realized the point of the story wasn't to be Team Anyone. Jackson is complex, and I think he was a great addition to the story.
The format of the book surprised me in a good way. I expected it to be in a standard linear fashion, but, thankfully, Silvera switches things up by revealing the story through chapters set in the past (History) and the present (today). It was hard to read the History sections and see Griffin so in love and happy while knowing that it wasn't going to last.
But this book is important.
There are so many reasons why this book is important for readers of a variety different backgrounds:
- Positive gay and bi representation. I'm excited to see a novel featuring gay and bi characters in prominent roles that is not about coming out/battling homophobia. Not to say that those aren't important concepts, but it's frustrating as a queer reader to only read books about homophobia and self-hatred. It's incredibly empowering to read about gay characters who are from a positive and loving environment. I hope to continue to see this trend where characters are GLBT and they are accepted.
- Realistic portrayal of grief. I like that Silvera allows his characters to feel sadness. It always seems like people have unrealistic expectations of characters moving on from traumatic events.
- Griffin makes mistakes, and that's okay. Griffin is sweet and adorable, but he makes many mistakes throughout the novel that hurt the people around him. I think it's nice seeing a main character who isn't perfect but learns and grows.
- Teens love and have sex and their feelings aren't belittled. Griffin and Theo fall in love and the adults around them take it seriously. Griffin's parents are 100% supportive and even buy condoms for him (hilarious).
The OCD representation was great. I cannot speak from experience because I don't have a history of OCD or mental illness, but I think Silvera's depiction of OCD was true to his experiences. Griffin's OCD is a constant presence in the narrative and we get to see how it affects his life. Silvera is careful that it makes an appearance even when it wasn't apparent through the narrative. For example, when Griffin is making lists in his head or repeating a phrase, it is always in even numbers. This portrayal is masterful and was an enlightening experience.
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